Funk!
I have neglected my blog lately, I constantly think of things I want to write about or would like to tell the world or just get out...and my internal dialogue stays just that. I have been in a writing funk and been going through some things and I just don't feel much like writing. I am going to write about what I am feeling and sorry to be a little cryptic (and I hate cryptic FB updates), but I've always said my blog is for myself not others so here goes.
Today at Bible study I was reminded that I have a Godly perspective on life. I think this was a gift God has given to me because if I open up about it and hear others perspective- I see that mine is truly unique and I stand out in a crowd. Good and bad I guess...the good news is I am not sensitive, I don't get my feelings hurt, I don't have bad or negative internal dialogue, I don't blame God for my mistakes and for every little thing that does not go my way. I am not insecure, and don't hate myself...I don't call myself names like 'fat, stupid, ugly, worthless, unforgivable', I don't think I am entitled to things, I am not selfish and I am happy with my "stuff" that I have about 90% (or more) of the time. I always have faith in God even when times are good, bad, and ugly. I am always happy, always positive, I can always find the good even in a bad situation.
The bad news is I am sort of alone in my feelings, sure I can inspire people- yup, I've heard that a lot that I am an inspiration and I inspire people but I don't "feel" it. I guess I take my glass 1/2 full life for granite. No one else can relate...maybe my mom a little, and my best friend, Brianna too.
It is also bad because I am not sure I have "normal" emotions because I don't react like others in their situations. Right now I am going through what should be an emotional situation...and I just don't feel like I "should" and I know how others would...I am not sure if it is normal or not to trust in God's plan and have an absurd peace about things that should/could/are devastating. Crazy, right? Something bad happened...and I am not devastated like I should be- my only worry is that I am weird...I should be counting my blessings and thanking God for my reactions. I just hope it is realistic. That's all. Maybe one day I'll talk about "it". For now, I may not be writing much.
Today at Bible study I was reminded that I have a Godly perspective on life. I think this was a gift God has given to me because if I open up about it and hear others perspective- I see that mine is truly unique and I stand out in a crowd. Good and bad I guess...the good news is I am not sensitive, I don't get my feelings hurt, I don't have bad or negative internal dialogue, I don't blame God for my mistakes and for every little thing that does not go my way. I am not insecure, and don't hate myself...I don't call myself names like 'fat, stupid, ugly, worthless, unforgivable', I don't think I am entitled to things, I am not selfish and I am happy with my "stuff" that I have about 90% (or more) of the time. I always have faith in God even when times are good, bad, and ugly. I am always happy, always positive, I can always find the good even in a bad situation.
The bad news is I am sort of alone in my feelings, sure I can inspire people- yup, I've heard that a lot that I am an inspiration and I inspire people but I don't "feel" it. I guess I take my glass 1/2 full life for granite. No one else can relate...maybe my mom a little, and my best friend, Brianna too.
It is also bad because I am not sure I have "normal" emotions because I don't react like others in their situations. Right now I am going through what should be an emotional situation...and I just don't feel like I "should" and I know how others would...I am not sure if it is normal or not to trust in God's plan and have an absurd peace about things that should/could/are devastating. Crazy, right? Something bad happened...and I am not devastated like I should be- my only worry is that I am weird...I should be counting my blessings and thanking God for my reactions. I just hope it is realistic. That's all. Maybe one day I'll talk about "it". For now, I may not be writing much.
Posts
